Loving God and Loving Others

My firstborn turns 17 today. Seventeen years ago a young 24 year old mom, who had no idea what she was doing, gave birth to a little baby. Married only 1 1/2 years and preparing to go overseas, I really was clueless when he came. Clueless in so many ways, naive and excited, petrified and anxious. In so many ways, those emotions still are there. Now, 17 years later I look at this young man amazed and astonished at who he has become. I feel like I know less than I did then. It's partially the honesty that's emerging, the courage to say I really have no idea what I'm doing, the unmasking that God is doing in me. But it's really God's grace that has carried us through these years. A boy? The doctor's announcement rocked my world. Really? I know nothing of raising boys! Those early days I didn't know all that I could be worried about. As the days grew into years, I quickly found out there's plenty to be anxious about as a parent. But much was within my ...

I read a quote recently that said, "grace based parents don't march, they dance." I have been thinking about that the past few days. What does it mean to dance? Sometimes it's easier to march. Following rules isn't a bad thing but the temptation is to fall in to legalism and judgmentalism that can take us away from grace. When my child disobeys me there is certainly a consequence but the way I respond to my child must be in grace. I must be committed to loving my child through the situation. It doesn't mean that there isn't truth spoken. But what does it mean to parent in grace? Each of my children are different. Their needs, their struggles, their motivations, their personalities, their issues are different. I need to be prayerful in the way I parent each of them. I need to seek God's heart for each of child. While it's important that I call sin, sin-  I need to also make sure that my discipline and correction of them is not only in truth but al...

There are things in our family that we share as a family and things that my husband and I share with each other only. But one of those things that we share together is the fact that "Mama's not perfect." It's no secret that Mama's not perfect. There is scarcely a day that goes by without me apologizing to one or more of my kids for quick, impatient words. I can't but help wonder sometimes how many counseling sessions they will have to go through in the future over their mama! I can almost hear those conversations in my head! "I know that my mom loved me, but...." As I reflect on my own mom and her example of motherhood in my life, I realize that though she was not perfect, she has impacted my life like no other person except Jesus. A friend of mine asked me yesterday about my mom and what was it that made her special to me. "Mom made the ordinary into special moments." I replied. She created picnics in the living room on rainy nights, s...

I'm wrestling this afternoon with a heavy question. It's been an ongoing one the last few years. I can force it away by not thinking about it, but it never goes away. Yesterday I went prayer walking in the neighborhood across the tracks from our apartment. I've been walking there on and off for the last 3 years or so. What drew me and a few others to begin going there were the number of brothels we noticed going up in that neighborhood. Today, 3 years later, there are even more. I can't even begin to tell you that it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Walking into the door of a brothel is not easy! We visited a karaoke bar that a few of my friends have been visiting the past couple months. Last week we made an acquaintance with a young mother in her late twenties, from the countryside, who too shares the same faith as me. What poverty drove her to this dark place? Why does she have to be here? Why did I get to live my life peacefully across the tracks...