Loving God and Loving Others

Jarius went to Jesus because he knew that He alone could heal his dying daughter. Others tried to stop him. But at his insistence, he made it into the presence of Jesus and made his request known. Meanwhile, another one in the crowd, burdened by her own infirmities for many years, a woman pushes her way towards Jesus. She knows that if anyone could make her well, it would be Him. Just one touch and I'll be better, she thinks. Both of them, faces in the crowd, beaten down by suffering and pain, come to Jesus. What amazed me this morning is that Jesus had time for both of them. Not only that, but He insisted on knowing who it was who touched Him in the crowd. Why did He care? His power was enough, she was well, why did it matter? My 11 year old answered this question. Jesus wanted to know who it was who had faith. Who believed that He was able? He looked around to find her. His words to her were balm to her soul. Because of your faith...... you are healed. Jesus, give...

Waiting..... That's what it feels like I have been doing since August 2 when we heard the news of Adah's leukemia. Winter settled over my soul that day. Not the sort of depressing-can't get out of bed winter, but a sort of be quiet, stay inside, conserve energy and wait, kind of winter. Adah's parents have been our best friends and co-workers for the past 8 years, and now they aren't here. They're back in another home, waiting this morning for their youngest daughter Claire's bone marrow to be extracted and given to her big sister Adah. It will drip through an iv line, and then we all will wait. It felt right that I would pack today. You feel helpless when you know someone's hurting and you can't really do anything about it because they are so far away. With the list in hand, I walked into their apartment prepared to do just that. Pack up the few items Sara had requested. Walking in wasn't so easy though, and tears overwhelmed me as I looked a...

We have five days left to make a decision that could possibly affect whether we can stay in the country or not. My husband has been planning to make a trip somewhere and this trip could be what makes or breaks the invitation to be here. From the human perspective it's a no brainer. Don't go. Why would you risk it? Is it really worth it? We have been really seeking the Lord the past week especially concerning this in light of recent anti-"family" activity here. We don't want to succomb to the enemy's intimidations nor do we want to be unwise. So what do we do? How does the Lord speak? In which way is the Lord going to lead us? We were drawn to Matthew 2 the morning when we received news of the threats that were being made. The wise men followed the star to Jerusalem, then on to Bethlehem where they worshipped the King. Through a dream they were clearly directed to return home a different way. Through a dream Joseph was directed to go to Egypt to wait. Throu...

The past couple days I have had such a difficult time breathing! When I have asthma I forget what it's like to breathe normally. I pant, I breathe fast, I concentrate on breathing and I realize that it's really hard to do when your lung capacity isn't that big! We returned to our city after a few weeks away and as I stepped off the plane I found myself immediately struggling to breathe. I was so thrilled to be finally home and had so many things that I have been waiting to do (like find a routine for our family) but the asthma is keeping me from doing too much these days. I haven't organized all the things I've wanted to. I have been forced to not do anything! Well, almost nothing. I did homeschool the kids today, make lunch and dinner.......But the moments where I could have spent doing something else (inbetween 4:00 and 5:00, and on my way to the bathroom. and during our evening read aloud while my husband read..) the Lord has had me sit down and just learn to br...

It's been some time since I have written. The last time I posted I was in a different place. The end of July brought news of something that would throw my soul into a solemn winter. Two and a half months have passed and things have settled in my heart. Up until the end of July my heart had become increasingly burdened by the sorrows and pains of life. When I received news of a very close friend's daughter's diagnosis of leukemia AML, an acute form that would require an agressive treatment, my heart was launched into a season of pain, reflection, and quietness. I haven't quite figured out all the elements that have contributed to my finding myself in this place. But I'm not afraid to be here. I guess it's a good thing. Winters of the heart probably are one of the longest seasons in the rhythms of our life, the one that has the least answers, the loneliest moments, but I think where the deepest work happens. It's pushing me towards God and not away. I am a...

It seems that transition seems to just be part and package of the deal called life . My heart seems to be always in transition-an email received that makes my heart sink, receiving joyful news from a friend, a friend moving away the country, kids changing grades, getting back from a trip and settling back into life, getting ready for a trip, planning a trip in a couple months, going out to the market and finding out that I can't find whole chickens anymore, birthdays, sicknesses......a  happy heart, a sad heart, a choosing to be joyful in the moment heart..... What are your transitions? Big or small, we are always making adjustments in our hearts for them. They can take our minds and hearts far away from the Lord. Jesus, be the center. Be my True North. Be my home. The place I stay. Keep my heart from longing for other things. Keep my longing only for MORE of You. The restlessness in my heart during those transitions should only draw me closer to You.

A moment to think, that's all I need. Life happens at such a quick pace. I never mean to start my day like that. Things just happen. So, how do I make it not happen like that? Time to reflect, process, and think. That's what I need. I'm responding to life not intentionally. I'm responding to life not with my heart. I'm responding with my raw emotions. With what I think of at the moment. Not by the Spirit. Father, help me slow down. Help not to miss You in each moment. A snuggle with my son who's 10 who just came into my room while I was working just to give me a hug. To look at the butterfly my daughter doodled on her desk. To laugh over the post my son just got on his facebook. To make peanut butter cookies in the middle of a crazy day with youngest. Just because. I'm desperate to slow down. Desperate for a moment to think. Can I climb up in Your lap, Father? Can I just hear You say to me, I love you? You're calling me. I'm s...