Loving God and Loving Others

The Webster dictionary defines the word "hope"- as the desire for attainment, trust. This week of Advent focuses on Hope. I am struggling to hope. The struggle of my heart against discouragement is a daily thing. One moment I'm hopefully and happy, the next moment I am fighting for it again. Happiness and hopefulness are tied together in my heart, but I'm not sure they should be.  It's raining this morning. It's the third storm of the week to hit our region and the clouds have been nothing but thick and heavy. It feels a bit that way in my soul.  I am aware that at every moment I am challenged with the choice to hope, and trust in the Lord, or to trust in my own strength. A few days ago I encountered a situation that brought me from the highest peak to a very low valley. Hope seemed shrouded by stormy clouds and I couldn't see beyond that. I cried out to the Lord, asking Him for deliverance. He answered. What's my response when hard things hi...

It's the first day of Advent- a time of pondering and reflection. A time to really think about Christ's coming, all that led up to it and to wonder at the mystery of it all. It's a time to stop and think about how his coming altered our life's course. It's a time to hope in the promise of His return. I thought I'd take this month to write up my reflections on this time. It will take discipline. I'm already 2 days behind. But as in all things in my life, better late than never. I process so much in my heart and mind and forget so often to write it down. So I will commit this month to writing. It's a time of preparation and readying of hearts. Christ came to the world, into a small town of Bethlehem, and they were not ready for Him. That fact occupies my heart today. Busyness characterizes my life. It's a hard confession to make. I personally don't like the word busy, so I use different words, synonyms like "full", but that mean the s...

A typical morning conversation between my husband and I revolves around our to-do list. For my husband, it's around tasks. For me, it's around people. People to call, skype, email, write, visit, get a present for.... For John it's strategies to plan, documents to review, and projects to finish. If we're not careful, our morning walk and coffee time has been hijacked  by the things we have to do and we haven't really connected at the heart level. I've sapped all my strength and energy and I've laid on John a larger burden than he was carrying before! How do we do ministry as a husband-wife team? God lays people on my heart all day long. I wake up with certain individuals on my mind, I carry them through my day, and I go to bed with another set of individuals on my heart. Mark 1 contains a story I love- an interchange between Jesus and his headstrong busy disciple, Simon Peter. After a busy day of healing all who come to Him, Jesus rises early the next day...

It’s hard to put into words what it feels like to sit at the bedside of someone you love who will soon be passing into eternity to be with Jesus. I finally have a moment to think. To clear my head and to let the tears flow. It’s been start and stop since I heard of Grandma’s stroke. The news came to us in bits and pieces at first. It became clearer as the days went by that Grandma had suffered a massive stroke and there was no chance of recovery. All of her 7 children gathered quickly be her bedside trying to catch the last moments. How do you describe a woman who has had a profound impact on the lives of not only her children but so many others a well? The regrets are coming of course, as they always do. I should have called her more. My busy life with 4 kids, living in China and just trying to stay afloat most of the time myself, but I should have called more. My last call to her was in early July. My Cantonese is trapped inside the mind of a 6 year old girl, it’s never progress...

The lady looks over her shoulder as she pours the fresh yak milk into a large pot. Can I keep him? She grins. He has no idea what she is asking. My son, that is. Eight years old and taking it all in. The new, the different, even the strange. He squats down near his friend and drinks the yogurt that she has just served him. We’re in Mongolia. Very far from home, we are in one of the most landlocked areas of the world. This gher, a white domed portable tent, is home to a precious family and some of their animals. The rest of the animals live in a pen next to them. There is no sign of other families around them for as far as I can see. Over the hill I have been told are a few more families. It’s amazing. We live in a complex with over 6,000 people. 45 buildings and lots of people. This country of 3 million could fit into a small part of our city, our city that numbers close to 11 million. Bumping along dirt roads with only a compass, we made our way via a four-wheel drive from the cap...

I love markets in the morning. Breakfast vendors flipping pancakes and frying eggs, the Chinese version of a breakfast burrito. Wooden stools and makeshift tables crowd the sidewalks; people come out of their apartments for their daily breakfast fare. Spread on the ground, a man on his stomach crawls his way through the throngs of people. A radio, strapped to his back, blares Chinese opera. Notice me, he says. He's on the ground. It's easy to miss him. People avert their eyes, dodging him with near misses as they clutch their saran wrap thin plastic bags tight. My daughter and I walk through the market towards violin lessons on the other side. I love early mornings, I tell her. I am reminded why I'm living here in this country. While the rich seem to be getting richer, the poor, well, it's the opposite. A soy milk lady's stand. She pours freshly made soy milk into plastic cups for potential customers. An old man sits on a small stool fixing bikes. A pile of sp...

Discouragement flooded my heart the other day as I thought about an emotional breakdown I had last week. Really? I thought I was over that. Why do some of the same things that I’ve been dealing with for years continue to come up? Haven’t I experienced victory in that already? Can it be that I need to continue to learning that lesson until I go home to meet You, Lord? Am I growing? Is there fruit? How can I change? Is there hope for one like me? Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. (John 15:4) Fruit bearing comes only by way of abiding.   How do I then abide? What does this mean? Every branch in me that doesn’t bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2 The Master Gardener prunes me that I may bear more fruit. Less of me and more of Him. That was John the Baptist’s prayer. It’s mine, too. But i...