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The kingdom they didn't understand

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The disciples had no idea what was going to happen.  Throughout the gospels, over and over again, Jesus had told them, and then reminded them of what was going to happen. They had no understanding, and really no grid to understand this. Jesus had come and called them out of a life they knew and into a life that was completely different. They had left it all to follow him. For 3 years. Close companionship, experiences that were crazy. Lepers healed, blind men could see, two groups of 5000 and 7000 men (not including the women and children) were fed out of a few fish and a few loaves of bread. It was like something they had never seen before. They were told He was the Messiah. That He was bringing the kingdom of heaven. Over and over through the gospels is the use of the phrase the kingdom of heaven. In the kingdom you leave your 99 sheep and find the one that is lost. In the kingdom you sweep the whole house to find the coin you've lost. In the kingdom you care about the younger s…

When the darkness feels too much

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It all happened so suddenly. One day we were talking about her. Two days later she was gone.

I was just with her Friday afternoon! My son lamented. How can she be gone? The emotions of this past week have been more down then up, and my son says, "I'm not sad at the right times." As if we can control this complex emotion we call sadness.

We have sat in the pain though. We have pressed in and we're better for it. Life for now cannot be as usual. A friend is gone. Too soon according to us. We didn't have enough time to learn about this young 13 year old with a vivacious personality so colorful that sometimes people didn't know what to do with such vulnerability and such freedom. In many ways she was older than her years, in other ways she was just a girl wondering if people could accept her just the way she was.

We all just want to know if someone will take us as we are. Growing up is so hard to do.

How do we live in the tension of grief and a life that remains t…