Loving God and Loving Others

My firstborn turns 17 today. Seventeen years ago a young 24 year old mom, who had no idea what she was doing, gave birth to a little baby. Married only 1 1/2 years and preparing to go overseas, I really was clueless when he came. Clueless in so many ways, naive and excited, petrified and anxious. In so many ways, those emotions still are there. Now, 17 years later I look at this young man amazed and astonished at who he has become. I feel like I know less than I did then. It's partially the honesty that's emerging, the courage to say I really have no idea what I'm doing, the unmasking that God is doing in me. But it's really God's grace that has carried us through these years. A boy? The doctor's announcement rocked my world. Really? I know nothing of raising boys! Those early days I didn't know all that I could be worried about. As the days grew into years, I quickly found out there's plenty to be anxious about as a parent. But much was within my ...

I saw a little girl on the stairs of the skytrain last night. Dolled up pretty, plastic beads, two pigtails, and a pink dress. Just like any 6 year old would like it. Except, she had a large 7-11 cup in her hand. Begging for money, she. We're in Bangkok for a few days before heading back to our home in the East. It's supposed to be a few days of "regrouping" as a family, as we like to call it. Busyness can take over our life so easily and we know if we don't mark out time to rest, then we won't do it. But even though I'm in a comfortable restful place this morning, my heart is uneasy. As I passed this little girl I stopped for a moment and uttered more like a gasp. What's her life going to be like? Where will she go next? With pretty looks like her will they keep her doing what they're asking her to? Will it get worse? I put my hand out over her and prayed for her. Mercy, Lord. Please have mercy. Don't let the darkness overwhelm her. Bring ...

Took a spiritual retreat today. My sweet husband took over the homeschooling for the day. I left the house before the kids got up, just long enough to write out assignments for the older ones and to lay out books for our youngest. I ran out as fast as I could seeing that I am highly distractable and a pile of dishes soon could be beckoning me home. I went to my parents home which is empty for the day. They're returning from a trip this evening so it worked out. After brewing that important first cup of coffee I sat down on the couch with my pile of books, my Bible and my journal. I began as I always do. Writing out blessings, things for which I'm so thankful for. Johanna's 6 teeth that were successfully pulled Elijah's 2 teeth that were yanked out yesterday- thankful he's not too mad at us! For a day to rest and quiet down, to reflect and to pray That I'm an extrovert and a day retreat will energize me for the month For seasons For the Father's love...