Showing posts from March, 2010

People watching

There's nothing like international travel to make you realize just how small the world is. With a quick few hour flight I can almost anywhere in Asia. Sitting in the airport this afternoon, I am struck by the emptiness in my fellow passengers' eyes. Each with some sort of gadget (myself included), sitting with their luggage tucked between their legs, sipping a coffee (myself included), and watching the clock. Each person has their own story, of where they came from and where they are going.
As a child of God I have a choice daily when I interact with people to just go about my business, or to make a concerted effort to love each person that He brings my way. I may not know what I am supposed to say or do, but as I step out in faith, He will give me all that I need to be His hands and feet. I don't take every opportunity the Lord gives me. I so long to though. But I too have my own agenda, my schedule, many times, I just can't be bothered. I have received so much from …

Sunny Days

The sun is out and the sky is blue. The birds chirp and trees are beginning to bud. From the outside, it looks like it's going to be splendid day. Why does weather, namely sunshine or the lack thereof affect my mood so much? Sunday was a gloomy day in our home. The sky was grey and there was little light coming into our apartment. I tried to cheer everyone up but I ended up lying on the couch with little energy. It was just one of those lazy days.

But sunshine or no sunshine, life goes on and must go on. I must still follow the Lord with the same resolve that I have on sunny days. I must still keep my eyes and ears attentive to the Spirit's voice, and I must let Him be my source of joy and strength.

Sunday's flurry of emotions was a reminder to me of my own weaknesses that I am still growing through and of my need to be tender to His correction and teaching. Sunny days are a gift from the Lord, and yet cloudy, rainy days are gifts as well. I must learn to seek Him still …

Why her, and not me?

I'm wrestling this afternoon with a heavy question. It's been an ongoing one the last few years. I can force it away by not thinking about it, but it never goes away. Yesterday I went prayer walking in the neighborhood across the tracks from our apartment. I've been walking there on and off for the last 3 years or so. What drew me and a few others to begin going there were the number of brothels we noticed going up in that neighborhood. Today, 3 years later, there are even more. I can't even begin to tell you that it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Walking into the door of a brothel is not easy!

We visited a karaoke bar that a few of my friends have been visiting the past couple months. Last week we made an acquaintance with a young mother in her late twenties, from the countryside, who too shares the same faith as me. What poverty drove her to this dark place? Why does she have to be here? Why did I get to live my life peacefully across the tracks …

Trusting Him for every moment

Today was one of those busy days. I woke up 30 minutes too late, which affected my quiet time, my kids waking up,homeschooling, and afternoon meetings. It's hard on those days to really live in the moment, especially when you're trying to catch up the whole day! I felt the Lord drawing me back to himself throughout this whole day, reminding me that He wanted me to be fully here, for each moment. Don't miss it. I felt Him whisper. I want you here, now.

It's counterintuitive to slow down. Life is full with my kids, homeschooling, ministry. My natural response in the midst of a busy day is to keep going, not to slow down. But as He reminded me of His words I read this morning, I could just feel him constraining me. Routine trips to the bathroom were short prayer moments with Jesus. Washing dishes, and heating up lunch, were times of breath prayers. "Be with me here and now. Each moment. Help me finish what I need to do. In fact, please show me what I need to do. I t…

Supermom Isn't Real

So I had this funny thought today. I thought to myself, Supermom isn't real. I was taking my weekly 2 hour slot for reflection and solitude this afternoon when this thought occurred. I know I have a lot to learn about sitting still. Being comfortable is nice. The room was a bit chilly. I had my warm drink, the heater right at my feet, my pillow adjusted just right. That all took about 20 minutes. Precious time I wasted but I consider myself to be on a steep learning curve, so I am accepting grace for the moment. Well meaning friends have commented on my attempt at "stillness" with words like, "good for you, Jenn! I'm so proud of you!" I think these words are meant to be encouraging, but sometimes I wonder, who people think I am! Am I a super busy person? There were the days when there seemed to be a competition of busyness. Now there seems to be a switch and everyone is comparing notes on how much reflection they are getting these days and that is now the n…