I haven't quite figured out all the elements that have contributed to my finding myself in this place. But I'm not afraid to be here. I guess it's a good thing. Winters of the heart probably are one of the longest seasons in the rhythms of our life, the one that has the least answers, the loneliest moments, but I think where the deepest work happens. It's pushing me towards God and not away.
I am asking God questions but I'm trying not to demand answers. I'm letting Him out of the box that I so easily create for Him. He is a mystery and becomes more of a mystery to me the longer I know and love Him.
For today, the longing for heaven and a more heavenly perspective is what I want. Everything else seems meaningless. My plans for this fall, the things I will do, where I will go, the things I will buy,...... meaningless.
Father, help me find you in this place. Help me hear your voice. Sense your peace. Know your presence. And when this season passes I will know that you will have done your work. For now, help me wait.