If God is Love....

Eyes of God look upon me. 

I am weak, often faith-less, floundering to believe in your goodness, wanting to trust; actually I'm just a child. 

Eyes of God, do you see? 

We sit this morning around the table, regrouping after a busy season of ministry. Gathering around the breakfast table over buckwheat pancakes and whatever else I can collect from our nearly empty fridge (which is a sure sign of busyness), we sigh and enjoy being together again. 

We have a friend's son for the week and we are so happy to have four kids around the table again. Missing our college boy today. Face Time makes the heart full, and as I wonder about his new hairstyle I can't help but feel that ache in my heart for his presence in our home. 

What's God been showing you these days? We ask the kids. Three teens and a tween, and we expect that God is showing up in their lives. 

God sees me, my thoughtful sixteen year old almost immediately responds. He whispered that to me this week when you were away, Mom. In my most alone moment, God just told me. An answer to my question through a child who is trying to find his way through the tumultuous teen years. It always amazes me that my kids expect God to speak to them. 

How does that somehow go away as we get older? 

Learning about community and how I need to invest. My daughter, sweet and tender, thinking about what belonging means after only 1 1/2 years here in the city. 
God has good for me, I'm reading that in His word and I want to believe that, my friend's son chimes in.

I'm on a journey, my husband adds to the conversation. If God is love, then what does it mean to love? 

But love is an action, my son questions. But also a person, adding this I think have told him this at least once before. (says mom/homeschool teacher)

Whoa. is all he can say. 
We laugh as he grapples with this new reality. 

A dry erase marker and a question prompt me to write on the glass window by our dining table.
If God is Love, then what does that mean for me? 


God who is Love saw Hagar running away with her son, desperate in the desert, wondering what they will do to quench their thirst. A raging sun, an ache of a mother's heart, and a God who sees. Where have you come from, and where are you going?, the appearing angel asks. (Genesis 16) 

We need a house to live in, and two months have gone by and we still haven't found a place yet. The days are winding down and nothing suitable has turned up.
My husband has another cancer blood work test tomorrow. Six more months on this oral chemo drug and the doctors have decided not to prescribe it anymore because the trials  for this medication were only for three years. August marks three.

If God is Love, then what does that mean for me?
Love do you see?
Eyes of God, you do see.
Trusting You to provide. 

I'm going to try substituting Love as I read the Word this month for every reference to God. Would you join me in reading the Gospels this way? 

Assuring my teary-eyed son in the crowded Bangkok airport last night that yes, God who is Love  sees us and will take care of us. (Look! He even gave Mom a Starbucks coffee after a long day of meetings!) Even as my 12 year old needs to be reminded, so my soul needs that reminder daily.