When I see my the sin in my children's lives, I have to admit, it sometimes shocks me. I'm not sure why. I confess secret hopes that my children will grow up and be better than me. That they won't struggle with the same sin of pride, that manifests itself in my life through self-reliance, self pity, and just plain self. That they would be quick to forgive and not get angry or frustrated when things don't go their way. But the truth is, while the events of their lives may be different than mine, they too will struggle with the sin.
As I am faced daily with daily opportunities to reach out in grace to my kids I find myself praying , Lord, how can you love me, broken, impatient.... Love so amazing. Love that reached through the heavens and forged that gap between heaven and earth. Between sin and Holy. Between evil and pure.
Then why do I struggle to offer what has been lavishly poured on me?
I had a moment of self doubt this morning. Wondering will my kids ever get it? Will they take to heart the truths that I've been pouring into them? I felt the Father's firm hand on my shoulder. Dear one, remember, you too are in process. Learning. Grasping. Understanding just a bit more today. And hopefully more tomorrow.
Father gave me a glimpse today. Into His heart that aches that I too will grasp the truths of His love. That I will learn that obeying Him is the best way. I want to see more than a glimpse, Lord. More of that, please?