Loving God and Loving Others

I recently reset my home page to a generic page removing my news site from the first thing I see when I turn on my computer. It's not that I don't want to know what's going on in the world, but I found that the news didn't always drive my towards prayer which should be my response. I get more of a compact version of news over email these days and it has helped direct rather than distract me in my praying. Advent brought about deeper reflection for me on suffering and pain in the world, especially thinking about Christ's coming into a world very much like ours today.  My daughter is writing a point of view essay and we were discussing the criteria for her paper and possible topics. It's supposed to be about something that moves me, mom. She informed me in her sweet mature tween way. That launched us into a discussion about things that cause a heart-stir, a movement in our heart. We laughed about her brothers, yes, they move her sometimes in a good way, other t...

Awesome things you will show us in your righteousness O God our salvation. O hope of all of the ends of the earth and of the seas that are far away. Psalm 65:5  It is too easy to get overwhelmed by all the things that aren't right in the world. Injustices in particular are difficult to swallow. The pain of my sister and her husband as they offer love and grace to their precious adopted children, one of them is fighting and doesn't want to be loved, friends wondering why the Lord hasn't filled their home with children yet, the suffering of the marginalized, the pain of those struggling to make it through each day, the homeless man at many of the corners of our city...  Without even realizing it I can easily carry the weight of the world on my shoulders so to speak, and I become burdened and sorrowful. This morning's passage reminds me afresh that God is our salvation and hope. The Father sent his Son to a world that was aching much like today's world. How does ...

Today didn't turn out as I expected. A series of morning appointments going longer than I had planned set my day on an unexpected trajectory. I felt the anxiousness rise as I realized that I wasn't going to get the things I needed to get done. "needed"... I realized that the "needed" list was perhaps a bit self imposed.  My days are often like that. I haven't checked in with the Lord about the things He wants me to do or finish. Seems I'm consistently reflecting on that. My own sense of effectiveness is measured by how many things I've finished. My sense of joy often is measured by how others perceive me. Are they pleased? I wonder.  Mixed up priorities. My eyes are so often stuck on myself and not on the Lord as it should be.  Forgive me, Lord. Yesterday's victories are gone and I'm faced again with another day filled with temptation to rely on myself and go about my day alone, without Him.  Needing to take tomorrow off to reflec...

I just spent a couple days away with my mom and sisters at a beautiful hotel overlooking the ocean. It was a gift of retreat, rest from the Lord. We haven’t gone away like this since before we had children which was many years ago, so we used the excuse of a birthday to get away together. It was a gracious gift from our husbands as well as they bore the weight of our children at home, my middle sister’s husband being extra gracious as they have just added 4 to their family through adoption. Life is busy and we knew this time was just as good as any other time. If we didn’t do it now we’d never do it. There’s something about that grabbing the moment, taking the opportunity because this one is a gift, way of living that I want to do more of. We have this moment and that’s all we know. We laughed and told stories, recounting the crazy things of this year. There have been some deep valleys of the past that we talked about, my sister retelling the horrifying story of ...

I was part of an audience that witnessed an amazing sunset last night. It was an amazing display of beauty that took my breath away. A painting done by God. The fiery colors of orange, red, and purple were stunning. The Creator of the Universe paints the sky each night and few of us are around to notice it. It's there, but many times there are things that are blocking its view. Sometimes it's the weather, other times it's busyness and heart burdens. Yesterday if hadn't been that the sunset was right out my window of the place I'm staying I would have missed it. A heavy burden was laid on my heart yesterday and I had a choice of what I was going to do with it. Some difficult words were said to my husband and I, ones that at first pass had the potential of being very hurtful. We had been talking the day before how we both wanted to grow in letting what others think and say about us not bother us so much. Little did we know we'd get to practice that right away. B...

I dropped my oldest son off at a large metropolitan airport last night for his first flight alone. He's flown before with friends, but this is his first trip on his own. Security at this airport can be tight. But he made it. The signs for the gates are tricky, but he navigated just fine. I asked him to text me when he was at his gate, and he did. He texted me this message. At gate, have coffee, just about to board. I'm fine, Mom . It made me laugh. My husband looked at me and smiled. Where'd he learn that from? The coffee part, he means. Regardless of how many pieces of carry-on we have, I like to have my hot drink in hand before a flight. As he got out of the car, my son reassured me. I've done this a thousand times with you, Mom. I'm okay. We've trained him to do this but sometimes the thought of letting go is so hard for me. As I drove away from the airport the Lord and I had a heart chat and He showed me again so often that it's my lack of faith drive...

My heart is grieving today. As I helped my daughter write a paper this morning my phone alarm alerted me to news of a tragedy in Connecticut. While we were eating breakfast in California, a gunman walked into a small town school and shot 20 children and 7 others, including his own mom. Parents who said good bye to their children this morning were anticipating a family weekend ahead not news that their child is no more.  I'm struggling making sense of this.  I look across the table to my own precious kids studiously working on their homework assignments and the sight of them takes my breath away. What if I was that parent? The mama who had carefully bought Christmas presents early tucking them under the tree hoping her curious kindergartener wouldn't be too curious. Her heart is breaking tonight and I have my four of my own in my arms tonight.  I don't like pain and I don't think I'm alone when I say that I don't like suffering. In fact even though I shouldn...