December 16 Letting Go
I dropped my oldest son off at a large metropolitan airport last night for his first flight alone. He's flown before with friends, but this is his first trip on his own. Security at this airport can be tight. But he made it. The signs for the gates are tricky, but he navigated just fine. I asked him to text me when he was at his gate, and he did. He texted me this message. At gate, have coffee, just about to board. I'm fine, Mom. It made me laugh. My husband looked at me and smiled. Where'd he learn that from? The coffee part, he means. Regardless of how many pieces of carry-on we have, I like to have my hot drink in hand before a flight.
As he got out of the car, my son reassured me. I've done this a thousand times with you, Mom. I'm okay. We've trained him to do this but sometimes the thought of letting go is so hard for me. As I drove away from the airport the Lord and I had a heart chat and He showed me again so often that it's my lack of faith drives me to worry. Why does it always seem to boil down to that? My own self reliance, self sufficiency, self self self, keeps me from throwing my whole self onto God. He's big enough. My mind's been trained to act. When things aren't working, find another way. I'm relearning my first responses.
The sermon today was on Mary, the mother of Jesus and how it must have felt for her when the angel came to her. I was moved deeply again by her response, "Behold I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:39) She had wondered how it could be so, being a virgin and all, but her heart responded in faith. Her response differed from Zechariah's response, who questioned the promise of a son in a different way. Zechariah reasoned with the angel who had brought an amazing word from the Lord, an answer to their years of aching and prayers. Mary submitted.
This response of faith is the kind of response I want. Whether it's dropping my son off at the airport or encountering a problem that seems overwhelming, I long for my heart's response to be that of faith.
I am the servant of the Lord, let it be.... Lord, let it be....
As he got out of the car, my son reassured me. I've done this a thousand times with you, Mom. I'm okay. We've trained him to do this but sometimes the thought of letting go is so hard for me. As I drove away from the airport the Lord and I had a heart chat and He showed me again so often that it's my lack of faith drives me to worry. Why does it always seem to boil down to that? My own self reliance, self sufficiency, self self self, keeps me from throwing my whole self onto God. He's big enough. My mind's been trained to act. When things aren't working, find another way. I'm relearning my first responses.
The sermon today was on Mary, the mother of Jesus and how it must have felt for her when the angel came to her. I was moved deeply again by her response, "Behold I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:39) She had wondered how it could be so, being a virgin and all, but her heart responded in faith. Her response differed from Zechariah's response, who questioned the promise of a son in a different way. Zechariah reasoned with the angel who had brought an amazing word from the Lord, an answer to their years of aching and prayers. Mary submitted.
This response of faith is the kind of response I want. Whether it's dropping my son off at the airport or encountering a problem that seems overwhelming, I long for my heart's response to be that of faith.
I am the servant of the Lord, let it be.... Lord, let it be....
Letting go of my kids-from the moment they were in the womb until now... (let alone---ahhhh!--- the thought of plane flights alone!?!) have been such a key aspect in my learning---still learning---to trust God! Stephanie, He is big enough!! I, too, long for my first response to be faith.
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