December 21 A Busy Heart

Today didn't turn out as I expected. A series of morning appointments going longer than I had planned set my day on an unexpected trajectory. I felt the anxiousness rise as I realized that I wasn't going to get the things I needed to get done. "needed"... I realized that the "needed" list was perhaps a bit self imposed. 

 My days are often like that. I haven't checked in with the Lord about the things He wants me to do or finish. Seems I'm consistently reflecting on that. My own sense of effectiveness is measured by how many things I've finished. My sense of joy often is measured by how others perceive me. Are they pleased? I wonder. 

 Mixed up priorities. My eyes are so often stuck on myself and not on the Lord as it should be. 

 Forgive me, Lord. Yesterday's victories are gone and I'm faced again with another day filled with temptation to rely on myself and go about my day alone, without Him. 

 Needing to take tomorrow off to reflect and pray. Rest. Wait. What does that look like in a full season with guests to host and bags to pack?

 The days approach to Jesus' birth and no one was ready. Bethlehem was abuzz with people gathered for the census. There was no room. No one was ready. 

 If Jesus returned tonight would I be ready? Where is my heart tonight? 

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