December 10 Surrender

To surrender means to let go and to trust another. To release control that I want into the hands of someone else. This morning I'm praying for that deep surrender. In prayer for this day I felt a wave of a long to-do list wash over me and the feeling of panic over the too-many-things-on-my-plate thing that happens so often. Christmas is nearly here and there's much to do before then and we return to our home abroad soon after it is over. The urge to get up and "do" is strong and runs contrary to the calling to stillness that I sense the Lord speaking to me this morning.

Surrender raises some difficult questions for us. Are we willing to trust God with our everything? Sometimes it seems easier to trust Him with the larger life-things. My future. But to trust Him my todays are harder. Sure I pray each day and commit things to the Lord, but I also jump in faster than I know He wants me to into fixing things, getting things done.

What might happen today if I simply trusted it all to the Lord? I know that I don't fully believe that His answer is always that of love. Truth is, I'm afraid of pain. I don't want another loss. To trust Him with my today means that I trust that He loves me. Surrendering to His love fully means to trust that He wants my best. That His will indeed is good and perfect, even if that includes the hard and painful.

As I think about Christ as my Peace on this Monday morning, I ask that He would exchange the frantic anxiousness of my heart for this peace He promises. Peace that passes all understanding. Peace that will guard my heart. Peace that is not as the world gives. He will give it, but I need to let go. 

To pray with Ignatius of Loyola, "Take, Lord, receive, all is yours now... give me only your love and your grace. These are enough for me." 

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