When there are no words... Advent Day 15

There are few words tonight. Weariness has settled in my soul like a good friend.

I have wanted to pray today and yet words are hard to find. Can the Lord hear the prayers that are but a faint whisper? 

Mary is on my mind today. What were her days like? The ones preceding the birth of the Messiah? Did she do laundry, mop the floors, and prepare meals like the rest of us? Her nights must have been her only moment to ponder. Just what did the angel mean when he said that she had found favor with God? How did Mary pass the time of her pregnancy, knowing in her womb she carried the Christ-Child. No one else knew and no one would understand if they did. A miracle was being born in her. I wonder if the waiting was hard. Those 9 months of waiting for Him to come. 

I'm waiting, too. For the miracle. For God to reveal to us what He is doing in our lives. For Him to show us what He is birthing in our hearts. These moments to reflect feed my soul. To slow down and let my mind catch up with the rest of me. To notice the small things. The ever so tiny signs of green when much around me is turning brown.

Breathing is good for the soul. And maybe that's just what prayer sometimes is. Breathing. 

hope in winter by J



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Food on my table

I couldn't believe it. They weren't coming until 6pm, for dinner. At least that was the plan. And there they were at our door with smiles on their faces at 10am. This was going to be a long day, I thought to myself. I had woken up that morning with a heavy heart. It was like a dark gloom had settled over me and I couldn't figure out why. John helped me with the morning breakfast routine, we had kids sleeping over and many mouths to feed. I grabbed my cup of coffee and headed to my room. God and I needed to have a chat. I emerged not 20 minutes later with the answer. I knew why I was feeling heavy-hearted. 2011 was going to be a confusing year! Lots of transition, people coming and going, our own comings and goings, kids growing up, and much much more to trust Him for. The cloud lifted after my very quick and simple revelation. God whispered to me almost audibly, "No worries, Jenn. For I will be with you." The doorbell buzzed. E was here. E had been in ou...
Read more

Feelings of irrelevance

What have I done anyways in the last 11 years? Was it worth it? Raising my family in a country that we'll never fit into. Has my life made any difference here? Does anyone care? Questions like these have been plaguing my soul. Feelings of irrelevance have pervaded my heart as of late. What does it matter that I live here? Does it matter? A phone call yesterday tipped me over the edge. A friend whom I have walked with over the few years is coming to a city nearby (she lives far away) I found out through another friend. I'm so thrilled she's coming, but I felt hurt that she didn't call me. I have walked with her through some difficult valleys. She actually was one of my personal deep valleys. She wasn't exactly easy to love! But God used our friendship in each of our lives and I am thankful that our paths crossed for those years. But that's just what happened. They crossed, and now that season is over. How sad is that? My relational heart aches. How many mor...
Read more

It's no secret

There are things in our family that we share as a family and things that my husband and I share with each other only. But one of those things that we share together is the fact that "Mama's not perfect." It's no secret that Mama's not perfect. There is scarcely a day that goes by without me apologizing to one or more of my kids for quick, impatient words. I can't but help wonder sometimes how many counseling sessions they will have to go through in the future over their mama! I can almost hear those conversations in my head! "I know that my mom loved me, but...." As I reflect on my own mom and her example of motherhood in my life, I realize that though she was not perfect, she has impacted my life like no other person except Jesus. A friend of mine asked me yesterday about my mom and what was it that made her special to me. "Mom made the ordinary into special moments." I replied. She created picnics in the living room on rainy nights, s...
Read more